That title may be a tad dramatic but maybe not. Disclaimer: I'm blogging from my phone so who knows what this will look like. 🙂
So, I have only blogged five times this summer. Eek! This is like a repeating cycle lol. I'm so glad someone comes back to make sure I'm still alive on here!
Can I be honest? I feel like I've went through this whole personal discovery thing this summer which meant that my world was all about ME.
If you know me in real life, you know that I live for others. It's really what makes me happy. But… Sometimes I get in a funk and forget who I am or who I am transitioning to be. I went through this six years ago when I took a trip to Turkey with a group of teachers who I didn't know well. I wasn't a wife or mom for those ten days and if was life changing to just focus on me.
Don't get me wrong, I have 100% been a wife and mother this summer but within this I've gone through a soul searching transition. Really I was seeking self confidence and affirmation internally.
If you met me, I'm all smiles and totally outgoing, yet internally I struggle with feeling confident and being sure of what I have to offer anyone. I want so badly to dance like no one is looking and not care what others think. I can get a hundred compliments but one negative will wipe them out. Why do I care what one negative and probably really unhappy person thinks of me? I shouldn't. Im trying not too.
So this summer I worked on freeing myself of this. It was kinda liberating to just not care and go with the flow. I'm learning that joy is already mine and I have the power to NOT let others steal it from me. I've also learned that when I am outwardly confident, it is easier to put myself in situations that don't intimidate me so much. I'm a work in progress. I'm sure this is something that will always be difficult for me but worth conquering.
I also worked out like a beast. I'm not going to lie. The scale didn't move much which was totally upsetting but I did lose lots of inches. I feel smaller and guess what? I can see my toes when I look down haha. That's so stupid but makes me happy. I also was able to buy bras from Victoria Secret for the fist time in my life. What??? Oh, it's the little things people.
I really tried to make the most of each moment this summer. Spending time with my kids, traveling for Kreative in Kinder, planning small adventures with my husband…I felt very present in every moment. Every adventure, I was all in. I just wanted to breath in every experience, laugh, memory. At this moment I feel very whole and completely blessed.
In no way do I have any of the answers to my life questions and concerns but I do feel more grounded in my foundation of faith and confident in the journey God has me on.
Now, I wasn't all sweet smells and rainbows this summer. I took clomid a few weeks ago to help strengthen my ovulation. Can I tell you how crazy that made me? As in, crazier than crazy friends. I totally didn't know who I was for a hot minute. I was on a rediculous roller coaster that bounced around through sad, angry, empty, happy, a little psycho. Haha! No really, Nick didn't know what to do with me for about a week. One really long week. He wasn't sure if I needed a hug or wanted to punch him. Probably both. Lol Bless his heart. His wife boarded the crazy train. For better or worse people! I'm not sure if the medicine worked. We are headed for vacation today so I won't be in town to take my blood test which means I will take it again this month. If it helps me create a strong pregnancy, if will be worth it (this is my daily pep talk). I've been back to “normal”..whatever that is..for almost two weeks now. I had to find my happy place and move back in. 🙂
Thie is the bucket list I made with my kids at the beginning of the summer. We are headed to complete our last thing (Lake House) in this list this week.
I can't believe how fast this summer has flown by. I have no regrets though. I have soaked in and loved every minute of it. There hasn't been a ton of down time but that's okay. I'll sleep when in 100!
I'm sure I could have blogged more and there are a ton of things I planned in creating this summer but sometimes life, family, self discovery trumps all. I'm super happy I finally completed my writing unit though. We can toast to that right?! 🙂
We are off to our annual lake house vaca this week. Each summer we go to a different lake and rent a house. It's become our family tradition and our kids look forward to it. I think we will always do this and hopefully one day they will join us and bring their kids too. It's one of my favorite traditions we have with our kids. This summer we are taking over Lake Palenstine. 🙂 Not a bad way to spend my last week of summer break.
Have you gone back yet? Are you teaching the same grade? I've parked my trailer in kinder and if someone tried to move me, I'd attach my trailer to my car and move on down the road. Haha!
Writing is very theraputic to me. Even if no one ever reads this thing, I'm totally cool wither that. I'm actually mortified of the though of people reading this that live where I do. Though if my family read my blog they would probably know more about me. Haha.
I'll leave you with a few peeks at my classroom. I have several things I need to do before taking the expensive camera pics. 🙂
Oh, and here is a pic of hubs and I yesterday. I love this man so much!! We went to this cigar event and there were two clowns walking down the street. I made Nick take a pic w me. They may have pulled his man card in the cigar club but I don't care haha.
TPT just announced in their newsletter that their back to school sale starts tomorrow. Last year it was in September so I'm a little excited that I can get some stuff I need before heading back to school. I wish I had time to make everything I need but I don't. So, everything in my store will be 28% off Monday and Tuesday. Hopefully you can load up on a few wish list items for a great deal!! You can click this link to take you to my store:
Have a great week! I'll be at the lake house working on something exciting and will share when I get back. 🙂
I think I'll share a picture palooza this week too. I have so many pics ready to go in a blog post that I never got too.
Sorry for my longwindedness. Is that a word? Haha! Love and virtual hugs!!