If you are a frequent flyer to my social media accounts, you know that I share a lot about our open adoption of Bennett. Before adopting Bennett, Nick and I were quite certain that we didn’t want an open adoption. We wanted to adopt a baby and move on. Goodness, I am so glad that God set us straight. He lead us to an agency that required open adoptions if the birth parents wanted it. We were still unsure if that is what our hearts could handle until we heard the testimony of one family that changed everything for us. 

In our trainings, an adoptive family shared their story. They had adopted their baby from a young mom. Unlike most open adoptions, where you just send a letter and pictures once a year and maybe have a visit, they wanted more. They would take vacations together and see each other whenever it worked out. The birth mom eventually got married. Unfortunately, her father had passed away before her wedding day so the man who adopted her daughter walked her down the isle because that is how close they had become. After hearing that story, I looked at Nick and said, “I want that life, not just a baby, but its family too.” It was in just ten minutes that God grew our hearts to not just adopt a child but to adopt a family.

The very next day, I met Bennett’s first mom. A blogging friend had told her mom about Nick and I and it just so happened that I was speaking at a conference two hours from their hometown the week after we first talked on the phone. Understanding God’s plan can be hard sometimes. Something that break someone else’s heart but brings you joy is hard to navigate but we pray we will always be an answer to her prayers as much as she was an answer to ours. We waited SIXTEEN years to love a baby and she gave us that amazing gift. She will always be B’s mom and I will too. An adoption story is what you choose and we choose to do this together, in our own capacity and there can be joy and sorrow all at the same time but our emotions are surrounded by this enormous love for Bennett and he will be better because of it.

There is so much more to that story, but that’s not why I am posting today. Since Bennett was born, we have seen his birth family at least twice a year even though we live in different states, we facetime often and we love them. I mean really, truly, love them. His first mom, we call here Mumsy, his big sister (she is now five), his Nana, and the rest of their amazing family. Together we are family. Ours is a story only God could write. 

They came to visit us in August. Mumsy and I ran to the store and she said that she needed to tell me something. She was pregnant. I asked her if she was okay and she began to cry. She had only found out the day before flying to see us. It was very fresh. My first concern was for her. She has had to overcome so much and is doing so well. She said she didn’t know what to think. Now, before you judge her, let me go mama bear for a minute and tell you that after Bennett was born, she got an IUD. She was told it would last at least five years and we are only three years in. Her birth control failed her. She said she didn’t know what she wanted to do yet but did ask me that if she didn’t think she could parent, if we would adopt the baby and we said yes. It’s Bennett’s sibling and this is a gift that we can give her, knowing that we will do this together.

Nick has wanted to adopt another baby ever since Bennett was born but I told him that we just couldn’t afford it. We took out my teacher retirement and did fundraisers to pay for Bennett’s adoption (P.S. don’t take out your retirement early unless you really need it! You will pay a 30% penalty. Yikes!). We have absolutely no regrets but doing it again is something that financially wouldn’t work for us. I told him that if we were to adopt again, it would have to be a “stork drop.” That’s a term used in adoption for when you get a call after a baby has been born seeking adoption. We would need a stork drop from someone we knew so we wouldn’t have to pay agency fees. It would just be for the home study and legal fees. From what I have researched, that should be under $10,000 which is a lot but nothing compared to $35,000.00+. The week Mumsy and the fam came to visit us, we actually had a conversation, as we were both preparing to turn another year older, about adopting and that it’s something that we just needed to let go. And here we are.

I talk to Mumsy often and she updates me on the baby. She is due the end of April. Also, I did ask her permission to share our story because I believe in prayer and also, I hope our story changes people so they can see that they can choose more for their open adoption. I respect her privacy and would never share without her permission.

I hate that she is in this position. It isn’t fair. She was on birth control. She shouldn’t have to make this decision. Mumsy has a condition where she has seizures. She also has a few other health issues. This past year she has made amazing strides and is doing really well. She recently got her license back since she is working hard to be healthy, physically and mentally. She is also doing a great job parenting her daughter too. She is a good mom!

As someone who loves her, I want her whole, healthy and happy. That is my priority. I am not over here crossing my fingers and toes for another baby. Would I love that, absolutely, but I would love for Mumsy to stay healthy and happy more than anything. Some days she 100% wants to parent. Other days, she struggles physically and mentally to care for herself and then feels that it is selfish to not parent because of her health issues. There is so much wrapped in this decision and she isn’t sure she can emotionally do it again (go home without her baby). No matter what happens, we will be here for her. We can be a bonus aunt and uncle or we can be parents. Either way, we are are a family.

This is where you come in. We need your prayers. This pregnancy has been really hard on her body. Her first two were a breeze, this one, not so much. She has lost weight because she can’t keep much down. She is unable to take her seizure medications because of the pregnancy.  I believe in praying in specifics so this is what we need from you:

• Pray that Mumsy remains healthy physically and emotionally. She has been seizure free for several months and we need for her to stay seizure free. 
• Pray for the baby, that it continues to grow healthy and strong. 
• Pray that God gives Mumsy peace as she makes big decisions. That she will be at peace with her decision either way and know that she is doing what is best for her and her children. She is the bravest person I know and her love for her children is BIG. Birth moms don’t place their children for adoption because they don’t love them. They place them because they do and that love comes before their own pain.
• Pray that Mumsy doesn’t see adoption as a selfish decision but is out of true love if that is what she needs to do to stay healthy. That we will care for this child just as we have cared Bennett and she will have a front row seat to everything because we are in this together and always will be. Not everyone understands our relationship and that’s ok. I still dream about the milestone’s of our babies born in heaven. She will never have to wonder when it comes to Bennett because she gets to be a part of it and nothing will change if we parent again. 
• Bennett knows that he grew in Mumsy’s tummy, that we were there when he was born and we got to bring him home to take care of him. No matter what happens, Bennett will be a big brother. A huge part of him being placed for adoption was for his protection. I won’t expand on that because it is not my story to tell but pray for Bennett that regardless what happens, that he continues to feel loved by all of us. This provides another layer to his story but I know we will navigate it together and he will be okay.
• Pray for Bennett’s big (little) sister. She knows her mama is pregnant and has been so sick. She knows that Bennett is her little brother and she loves him and Bennett loves her. When they are together they play and fight like siblings. They also love to facetime each other.  I don’t think she quite understands adoption because she was so little but this time around, she is older and will be more aware of what is going on. She may have more questions about Bennett. She also may not understand if Mumsy chooses adoption. Please pray for her. 
• Pray for Mumsy’s family as they support her through this season of life. It’s such a hard spot to be in because this shouldn’t have happened. Their priority is caring for her (Mumsy) and making sure she stays well. It’s hard to watch her on this roller coaster of joy and grief. 
• Pray for us as we prepare for “just in case.” We have decided to build a bigger house, not just because of the baby but it was the final thing on the list that did give us the push. In our current home, we don’t have a room for the baby. We had already been looking for land for over a year so we could get Bennett into a certain school district and the new house does that. If we don’t adopt, then we will have a nice guest room and that is great too. Pray for provision that if adoption is what we will eventually do, that God will provide the money needed, Also pray for provision for Mumsy if she decides to parent.
• Pray that our house sells quickly and we are able to get top dollar for it. 

Last time, we found out about Bennett three months before he was due so it was hurry up and wait. This time, we found out on day one. It’s been 14 weeks now and it seems so long and there is quite a bit to go. Please pray for all of us during this time. Please do not ask if we know anything yet. There is zero pressure in this entire situation. When I talk to Mumsy, I don’t ask a lot of questions. I just want her to know that she is supported and loved. So, when we know anything, we will share it with you. And, it could be after the baby comes. We really don’t know.

What we do know:

• We are growing our family no matter what. We will be happy with whatever roll we have in this baby’s life.
• We believe in a merciful God and pray that he continues to take care of Mumsy and her children.
• Mumsy is a good mom. She has survived many hard seasons. She is brave and she loves her children.
• Adoption is love. It’s hard and beautiful all at the same time. 
• We can change the “rules” for adoption. It can be so much more if you let it. You have room in your heart for a baby and the person that gave him/her life. 
• We are so thankful that Mumsy chose life for Bennett and this baby. 
• We are at peace as we wait. We know that whatever role we are called to serve, we will fulfill it with love.

Please do not say:

• “We hope you get the baby.” This diminishes Mumsy’s role and love for her child. We are extremely protective of her. 
• Please do not offer praise to adoptive parents. We are growing our family the way God has called us to. That doesn’t make us better people than the women who give them life. 
• “This was meant to be.” I firmly believe in God’s plan but I don’t believe that God wants Mumsy to suffer. This is hard stuff.

Thank you for your prayers and support. We appreciate you  so much. I know Mumsy is so thankful too. We don’t know what the future holds but we do know that God has us in the palm of his hands and we trust his plan. 

The post Open Adoption and Prayers For Our Next Season appeared first on Kreative in Kinder.

This world has my heart broken into a million pieces.

Can I be really honest? I’m experiencing emotions I’ve never experienced before. Emotions I assume my black friends experience every day. I think before Bennett, I thought I was supportive. I thought I understood. I thought I was brave.

I. Was. Wrong.

I’ve struggled to put into words how I feel right now, which is foreign for me. I feel like it’s hard for me to speak to something that I don’t have empathy for. I can talk about education, infertility, miscarriages, adoptions and faith all day long but I cannot tell you that I understand what it feels like to be black.

I spend much of my life encouraging people to dig deep, seek Jesus and be on a journey for self growth. This week, I really took time to dive in and do that myself. I haven’t posted much on social media because I really wanted to take a step back. I needed to reflect and see how I can do better. So, I spent time reading and listening to the hearts of POC. Let me tell you that I hear you and I am so sorry for your pain. Please forgive me for my own ignorance and for not stepping up sooner to hold your hand and love you the way you deserve to be loved.

I have struggled with my own emotions with my fear for the world Bennett will grow up in. Will he experience these hardships (hardships I cannot begin to understand) when he grows up. How can I do better for him and all of the other moms who live with these fears. I never had these fears with my other children, my white children. Bennett being biracial has helped me grow and realize that I have so much to learn. It’s taught me how to speak better and to not say ignorant things. Statements like, “I don’t see color.” Y’all, everyone sees color and color is beautiful! And we should be celebrating color and not trying to make people blend in with anyone else.

This is not a police issue. This is not a crazy white woman in a park issue or two crazy white men in a truck issue. This is a heart issue and THE HEARTBEAT OF AMERICA MUST CHANGE. If you think this is setting us back, you are wrong. This is dry bones coming ALIVE. This is people finally paying attention. I’m not condoning violence or looting. That is wrong. So wrong. But I am supporting a national awakening that has to happen.

This is where I’ve landed today. I’ve been in a place of prayer but I truly believe that is not enough. I will keep praying but I also believe that God clearly calls us to ACT. I believe in peaceful protest. I believe everyone can do something. Write a letter, make a phone call, share your heart on social media, research, read. Do. The. Work. And not just for a day. Commit to creating a better life for your children, your neighbors and all of God’s people.

Now more then ever, we need to love our neighbor. Every last one of them. We need to be conscious of how others feel.

Last week I was in Hobby Lobby. I had just a minute to run in and grab something. A women walked by me and said good morning. Honestly, I was in a hurry and combing the isle for what I needed so I was focused. My mask was sliding up to my eyes and I was annoyed. I didn’t realize she was talking to me. She turned the corner and said, “Good morning to you too. Have a nice day. You too” as if she was playing out the conversation she was trying to have with me and she was upset that I ignored her. When I realized it, I was mortified and embarrassed. I went to find her a few isles over and apologized. I told her I was so focused and in a hurry that I wasn’t paying attention and I was so sorry. She smiled and said thank you and to have a good day. She was the sweetest. I could have easily left the store and not found her but it would have been the wrong thing to do.

As embarrassed as I was, my feelings didn’t matter. She was a black woman and I didn’t want her to feel like I didn’t see her or I chose to ignore her because of the color of her skin. I didn’t want to be that person in her day. We are in a very sensitive time and it was so important to me to stop rushing and make sure I found her to tell her I was sorry and I appreciated her seeing me.

I want to be the person that does more than say the words. I want people to know they are appreciated, valued and loved. No one wants to feel unseen. Unheard. I cannot imagine what it is like having the fear that someone won’t talk to me because of the way I look or worse, judge my intentions because the way I look.

The pulse of the world has me very aware and I think that is a good thing. You can’t see my smile behind my mask but I am making it a point to smile at people, say hello, let them know that I see them and I value them. Change will not happen overnight. It will take time but it won’t happen at all if we all don’t do some work here. Today I ordered a ton of books for Bennett and myself. I refuse to be part of the problem and I want more for my son. I  don’t want him to grow up in fear. I want him to see himself in books and know that God knew what he was doing when he created him. 

This weekend Bennett was walking in my husband’s shoes. His daddy’s shoes. But, the truth is, Nick and I will never know what it is like to walk in his shoes. He will endure more because of the color of his skin which means as his parents, his white parents, we have work to do. 

Work requires action. Talking. Reflecting. Reading. Learning. Growing. And it might be painful too but that can’t stop us. This is not about my feelings because I cannot understand how POC feel. I’m not the one hurting. I am someone who can do something though. And I hope these are all thoughts you have been processesing this week too.

What are you reading, listening to, etc to grow? How are you taking action? How are you reflecting and changing? This isn’t an opportunity to push back, ignore or walk away. Lean in and dig deep because people are hurting and everyone can do more. If we truly want to be the hands and feet of Jesus, we have got to stop being complacent and start acting with a heart to love all of God’s children.

“Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, and please the widow’s cause,” (Isaiah 1:17).

Yesterday, in my hometown of Waco, TX, people gathered for a Walk for Healing and it was beautiful. There are places reacting in violence and it’s scary but there are also so many people dropping to their knees, seeking forgiveness and unity and that is where we begin to heal.

If you say this post has nothing to do with education and it offends you, I beg you to check your heart. This absolutely is about you and me. It’s about the children we teach. It’s about the culture of our society. And for me, it’s about change for my child. Because I don’t want your child to fear my child one day. Because he is precious and adorable in his curly headed two year old self but will you still feel that way when he is 25?

I challenge you to be BRAVE. To dig deeper and learn. We’ve always said as educators, we are better together. That has never been truer than today. We are better together and POC need us to be better together. Because nothing changes if we can’t do this TOGETHER. And it’s okay if you don’t feel it to your core because it doesn’t “affect you.” Think of the students in your classroom and what life you want for them because I know you love them. Think of the 30 year old woman or man they become. And love them there.

Listen to this song. Let it wash over you. On repeat. And come ALIVE.

If you are seeking books to read for yourself and your children / students, click here for my suggested book lists. 

**This post contains affiliate links.

The post I’m A White Woman Raising A Biracial Boy and I Have Work To Do appeared first on Kreative in Kinder.

Did you know that anxiety and stress in children isn’t all that uncommon? In fact, 10-20% of school-age children experience some kind of anxiety symptoms. When anxiety and stress get out of hand in children, it can lead to larger health problems in adulthood. And let’s face it, we all worry from time to time but when that worry turns into anxiety and stress, it can begin to affect everything from grades, to sleep and your child’s personal relationships.

To adults, childhood seems like a carefree time – we often forget the stress or anxiety we felt when we were younger. But when we think back and put ourselves in our children’s shoes, we can often remember the uneasiness of childhood. The pressure your child feels comes from many places; starting a new school, making friends, sports, getting a good grade on a big test. All of those things, and many more, can cause your child stress and anxiety.

Signs of Anxiety and Stress in Kids 

While not all stress is bad, you need to be watchful for clues that your child’s stress and anxiety has become too much. Some childhood anxiety symptoms include:

• Poor sleep
• Poor eating habits
• Mood swings
• Increased illnesses
• Depression
• Stomach upset
• Headaches

The above anxiety symptoms in children are related to potentially more severe anxiety and you should consult a doctor for your child to be evaluated by a professional.

By helping your child learn to cope with anxiety and stress now, you can provide them with anxiety and stress management techniques that can last a lifetime.

How to Deal With Anxiety in Children 

If you suspect your child has some sort of anxiety disorder, contact your doctor first. Beyond that, here are some ways you can help a child deal with anxiety. 

Listen and Communicate

When you listen to your child you give them a chance to get those feelings of anxiety and stress off of their chest. Sometimes it helps just to be an ear so they can explain how they’re feeling. Asking them open-ended questions and letting them lead the conversation helps them feel trusted and supported.

Participate in Relaxing Activities

We are a society that lives on the “go, go, go” mentality. If we aren’t moving then we aren’t getting anything done. But all of the moving and going can take a toll on all of us and the same is true for children. Allowing them to do something simply for the fun of it, with no expectations at all, gives your child’s brain to detach from stress. For instance, reading, painting, yoga, are all activities which require no competition or need for perfection. Exercise is another activity that gives the brain and the body a chance to release stress. Exercising also builds confidence and yes, will get the body moving and improve sleep.

Model Your Own Anxiety and Stress Self-Care

Your child learns from you, so if they see that you handle stress and anxiety in a negative way, they may think that is the only way to react. If you avoid stressful situations, your child will learn to avoid situations that may cause them stress or anxiety. If you face your fears and problem solve your way through them, your child will learn to do the same. Instead, teach your child about emotions and how to handle them. 

The same goes for self-care. If you are unable to control your own stress or anxiety, you can’t begin to help your child manage theirs. We must learn to slow down and make time for ourselves so that our child can learn to do the same.

Mindfulness Strategies

There are a number of things that you can do with your child to destress when they feel anxious. While these are mainly relaxation strategies often used in mindfulness, they are also beneficial to a child who may be feeling stress and anxiety and not sure how to handle these emotions.

Popular mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing and slow counting are great ways to begin teaching your child how to slow down and be in the moment. Feel free to incorporate meditation, even for 60 seconds can make a difference and bring your child back into focus. If your child is willing, simple yoga poses can accompany the deep breathing and counting techniques. Deep breathing slows down the “hyperstate” your child’s body is in; heart racing and fast breathing.

Most of us have the tools to teach our child how to cope with anxiety and stress. We may not be able to provide a completely stress-free world but we can show them how to manage their own anxiety and stress in healthy and productive ways.

The post How to Help Your Child Cope with Anxiety and Stress appeared first on Kreative in Kinder.

Fostering requires patience

There is not one aspect of fostering that does not require some patience. First of all, the process of getting your foster care license requires patience in every form. You’re at the mercy of someone else to license you, so it requires waiting. Secondly, every aspect of fostering requires some sort of patience. From waiting to get a placement to seeing the placement through all the requirements that have been laid before you both. Fostering is right for you if you can gain a little patience.

Fostering is a financial commitment

When people say that someone is in it for the money, I cringe. You do get a per diem for fostering a child, but it is a financial commitment. You need to be able to support family financially without the daily per diem. The money you get will literally cover the child you’re fostering and that is it. When you get your first placement, you will see what is meant by this.

Fostering requires a heart for reunification

A lot of people are confused by the foster care system, trust me, I get it. Most children in the foster care system have a goal of being reunited with the family. The foster care system has the goal of putting the family back together as soon as they can. It will make your heart hurt, but if you cannot support reunification, it’s going to be hard to foster children.

Fostering children is a change of pace

It can be hard to welcome a new child into your life. However, it’s a very rewarding process. Of course, it’s rewarding in knowing you’re helping a child, but it’s rewarding in how much it changes your family. You are doing something now about a crisis that is happening across America. Whether you’re able to help one child or a whole group of siblings, you’re truly making a difference.

Is fostering right for you?

As you learn more about fostering, you will know if this way of life is for you. While it is not a financial reward, it truly is a heart reward. Your whole family will be stretched and changed in ways you never imagined.

Are you a foster parent? What made you take the leap?

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The post How to Know if Fostering is Right for You appeared first on Kreative in Kinder.

Do you make a one little word each year? I always do. I haven’t actually picked one for 2018 yet, but I guess I would go with baby. This dream is not new and of course there’s a story here.

If you have followed my blog for a while, you know that my family is fueled by one statement: Love God and Love People. That’s simply what we try to live by each and every day. That motto has lead me to spearhead many huge fundraisers for schools that have been through tragedy.  It also helps me to love children that are sometimes hard to love, which I felt was my gift when I was teaching. I also believe adoption is one of the greatest acts of love.

I love how God has created my family. Our journey has not always been easy but it has been worth it.  My favorite part of 2017 was sharing our family story with so many teachers at conferences around the United States. I wanted to encourage them to not give up on kids that are hard, kids like mine. Granted, my kids are pretty awesome and doing great at life today but it hasn’t always been this way. It’s taken years of every type of therapy imaginable along with a HUGE support system including family, friends and teachers. I have always believed the age old saying that it takes a village to raise a child. Well, my family needed two.

My husband and I have tried and tried to get pregnant since our last miscarriage almost four years ago. That’s actually the reason I left the classroom. I wanted to try different treatments but was unable to go to the doctor as often as I needed to because getting a regular sub is kind of a nightmare and not actually a thing. Ha. It’s clear that me carrying a baby isn’t in the cards for us {which we are fine with} so we have come to the conclusion that we will adopt again but this time go the private route.

People have asked why we aren’t going through foster care again. Well, first, it’s not so easy to get a baby. If you do get a baby, a family member has six months to speak up for the baby before rights are terminated. I feel like I am pretty strong but I just don’t know that I am strong enough to take in a baby only to lose it. I don’t think my  heart can take it. Private adoption just feels right for us.

The downfall to this scenario is that it will cost a minimum of $30,000. Holy guacamole, that is a LOT of money. We are fortunate that we didn’t have to pay anything for our children adopted through foster care but we also knew that we were adopting abused and neglected children that came with a plethora of emotional  and physical needs. They have caused us to grow in ways we never thought possible, especially in our faith. I am sure we have prayed millions of prayers over them throughout the last fourteen years. I am so glad that we said yes and their issues did not scare us. We were only 23 when we began fostering so we were young, naive and ambitious. A great combination for sure, ha. Our kids are currently 17, 19 and 21.  Nick and I are only 37. We act like that is super young but we also know that is not old. Yet. Next year our youngest graduates high school and we aren’t ready to be in that season of life, hence the adoption.

Nick and I have dreamed of bringing home a  baby since the day we were married, over sixteen  years ago. We have also prayed for God to change our hearts if that is not part of his plan. But, here we are, still hopeful as ever and dreaming away. I think there are times in your life when you are supposed to sit and wait on God but then there are times when you are supposed to do some of the work. We are entering a season of work and I have never been more excited.

It’s incredibly scary knowing that you have to come up with so much money and kind of fast throughout this process. We launched a teacher tshirt fundraiser on Sunday night. You can buy a shirt that says “Teaching With My Whole Heart” for the  next ten days, just FYI. We have also evaluated our finances, looked at areas where we can skim back and made some tough decisions. We are selling our house and downsizing. Really, we don’t need a house this big as we move into this next season and we are looking to save a little money because we know babies have all the needs. Man, all of this adulting is enough to make my head explode.  Ha.

We think we have figured out a way to fund half of our adoption so we are hoping for fundraise the other half.  I would so appreciate your prayers for us during this season.  Nick and I go for our orientation with the agency next week and complete our training in three weeks. Then, we will have our home study.  At that point, we put down our fist big lump sum of money and I just pray we have it by then.  It’s so weird. Part of me is a nervous wreck but then a bigger part of me has this huge peace.  Internally, the two parts are fighting right now, ha. I wish they would get their life together.

Please pray for the birth mother and our future baby.  We are praying for her already.  We have put no preferences when it comes to our choices for the baby. It doesn’t matter to us what gender or race our baby is. People are people and we will take whoever God created for us.

If you want to follow our journey, you can follow our Facebook page.  I will be posting updates there as I have them. For other ways to support our family, you can follow our YouCaring site here.  We are so thankful for everyone’s support!

Every year we say, “This year is the year we bring a baby home.” Well, 2018, we are on a mission to make our dream come true. Hopefully this time next year my one little word will be sleep because I am sure I will miss it once the baby comes. Ha!

2018: The Year a Dream Comes True!

Check out our fundraiser!

The post A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes appeared first on Kreative in Kinder.

What You Need to Know About Being a First Time Foster Parent

Are you thinking about fostering, but don’t know where to start? Being a first-time foster parent is often like walking while blindfolded. You have an idea of where you’re going, but you don’t know where you will end up. For the first-time foster parent, here are some things you need to know.

Surround yourself with like-minded people

If you’re starting your foster care journey, something you need to figure out is who your people are. Meeting other foster parents or at least people with the same mindset as you is important. Join Facebook groups and head to local foster care group meetings.

Ask a lot of questions

You won’t survive being a first-time foster parent without asking questions. Ask questions to learn as much as you need to. Keep in mind you will ask questions during your licensing and you’ll ask questions during your first placement, it’s just a way of life.

Things won’t always go your way

In life, we want things to go a certain way for us. However, the foster care world doesn’t go that way. The system works in a certain way and you can’t expect it to go any differently. If you’re new to fostering, know what things won’t always go your way!

Know your boundaries

While you may be a foster parent at the mercy of everyone else, it’s okay to set up boundaries. You do get to pick what age foster children you want. You get to pick what gender you want. It doesn’t make you a bad person for knowing your boundaries and what age group or even gender you’d like. It may seem weird at first, but you have to do what is best for your family.

There are lots of rules

Something you should be aware of when it comes to fostering is there are a lot of rules. These rules may seem crazy or mundane, but they are there for a reason. If you have a question about a rule, a caseworker is only a phone call away. In the defense of these kids, there has to be rules there to protect them.

Kids need you

Rules and regulations aside, all new foster parents should know that the kids need you. There is a crisis in this nation and foster parents can help meet that crisis. In the USA alone, there are close to 400,000 children in foster care. That doesn’t even count those across the world.

Do you have any tips for the first time foster parent?

The post What You Need to Know About Being a First Time Foster Parent appeared first on Kreative in Kinder.

There are so many things I pray about every day, some for years.  This particular prayer, 15 years. But, what do you do when the answer is no?

Today’s Story

Two months ago a friend reached out to me. She new a high school aged girl who had gotten pregnant and was considering putting the baby up for adoption because she wasn’t ready to be a mom. Her mom was a young mother and didn’t want that for her too. I’ve joked that I wish someone would just message me on Facebook that they had a baby for me so I was shocked to get this message.

My friend wanted to know if we would consider adopting an African American baby. I told her we would pray about it but I already knew the answer. YES. Send us any of God’s children and the answer is YES. If our life’s testimony is to love God’s people, that means ALL of God’s people. Our love knows no colors.

She told the girl about us and we were given her name and little updates over the last two months. We’ve prayed and prayed for her by name. I offered to help get in touch w services when she was ready and of course we said we would help however we could if we were to adopt. And then we waited. Ultimately, this would be a dream scenario as we cannot afford private adoption.

I’m not going to lie. I’ve done some dreaming of this possible new addition to our family. This weekend we learned that over the holiday the girl decided to have an abortion. I know this is not the ending you were hoping to read. It’s not the ending we were praying for either.

I believe that as ministers we must be transparent and not just share when God says yes. Sometimes when God says no, it means not yet. Sometimes it means he has another plan. And sometimes the answer is in the hands of another person and is out of his hands. I don’t agree with the girl’s decision but I can’t judge her. We are all born sinners and her sin, albeit different, is the same as mine.

This morning at worship practice I choked up as I was worshiping and mourning the loss of a baby I never knew. Oh, if she only knew how much we would have loved that baby. Then, I praised God for his perfect plan because we trust him. Then I prayed for her. Maybe Nick and I were brought into this situation just to do that because God knew we would commit to pray. He knew we would trust him. So, this was not our answer but I still believe it’s coming in some shape or form.

For now, I pray (and I hope you will too) that this situation will change this girl’s life and put her on the right path. One day she will mature and come to terms with her decision. Hopefully, there will be remorse and with that she will be forgiven. She is bright and has potential. I pray she figures that out and fulfills the plans God has for her.

We have to live in a manner of forgiveness and love or we live a life in bondage, anger and resentment and that, my friends, is not a life worth living. Just because the answer is no, that doesn’t mean the story has come to an end.

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